"Quasi-stresslessness"

I am down and I'm so frustrated, and I don't think I can handle the stress! The puppet is going down the drain I got mixed reviews and my idea is hard to execute, there are just so many things to think about, it hurts! I have to change my so many things which adds more to the pain, mechanism, material, position in space and many other things are like knives of worrying that.. well you get the metaphor.. this sucks! I wanna finish the puppet on Friday and get over with it soon so I can work on whatever technical might shove in my face for Monday. But it's very likely that they (instructors) are gonna bash it crazily. This puppet doesn't feel like design, this feels like fettered contemporary art that is limited in a ridiculously annoying manner. They say that perspective is reality but sometimes one perspective becomes other's people's reality when that perspective is powerful enough to influence others.

But the knives (remember the stupid metaphor) are not just those of the puppet but with the engineering course, history course, english and of course our favorite torture "TECHNICAL DRAWING" the outdated course that seems to be so important now although it seems very pointless at the moment!

The thing is with the school of Architecture is the fact that you have to handle the stress of all the shit-load that you get and whatever bumps (or mountains) life has to shove up one's ass :D and that sucks. I have so many other things going on the personal level that well make are making a huge mess, something which obviously, no one needs.

So here's my decision, not to give up of course, it's gonna take more than that to get me to give up! Im gonna stop working today, put it all on hold just for the day, try to be stressless and continue with the worries tomorrow. But how can I forget the knives that sear with pain? (WOW that crappy metaphor turned into something beautiful)

AJ

Juggling too many balls...

Hello world,
It was another new day, with new troubles and more intense stress. I was working on my puppet now but I'm sick of trying to make it work, so I thought I'd write this... as a break. THE PUPPET IS A LOT OF TROUBLE (my current design project).. I'm not a puppeteer and I really don't need to be one, but I am on the other hand a designer and I was asked to design a puppet of myself with the most abstract demands, so I have to take the challenge. although the challenge is proving to be very hard I wouldn't want it any other way, every challenge is a learning opportunity (and an opportunity to fail too,.. BADLY! but let's stay more on the platonic side... it's more uplifting) . I already have my idea, the message I wanna convey and the form of the puppet... but it was all still ideas with a few sketches.... so my puppet was still pretty much virtual at that point, but a few hours ago I started making a model of my puppet to get a sense of the dimensions, the material and most importantly the MECHANISM!!! Google let me down and so did YouTube when it came to researching, but I found a couple of books about marionette making but they are too technical and detailed and they involve lots of wood carving, I don't need that! I figured out the the mechanism of the arms and the top of the body. But what doesn't seem to work out is the lower part (the legs) because the form of the upper body doesn't seem to fit well with the lower part (because its form is very unconventional). The doom might come to me soon If I have to change the whole concept, but the due date is only 12 days away, and although 12 days might seem a lot, they are not, not when I have a million other balls to juggle! So if there are any muses out there now's the time to show up... and If I were that muse I would be quick! But I'm hopeful, and I should get some feedback tomorrow when I discuss my idea with the instructors who have a tendency to bash most ideas...

It wouldn't be an "Architectural Day" (ok it's a lame term but whatever you get the point) unless I have technical to poke my tranquility (oof that was deep) Technical Drawing gave me to the most complicated structure (so far) to draw in perspective (Still one point) It's so overwhelming and I dunno how I'm gonna do it, but all I know is I should finish it by Monday. Ok Im just gonna relax and take it easy.. let's see if that works!

And just when I thought I had enough and I can't take it anymore, there comes the english course nagging at a distance with an essay which is due soon (first draft) and a Unit exam tomorrow, along with my statics final ( the engineering course I have to take) and the History that should push some more load some time very soon!

That was pretty much all for the day, I had 2 hours of sleep after I came home from university, so I should be staying up till about 2:00 am working on my model and some of that english but I guess I'll sleep earlier I should wake up early tomorrow head off to the studio and YES do my technical drawing! Who knew FUN had so many alternate spellings.. Anyways tonight I slp with one thought.. That which doesn't kill me will only make me stronger till next time... take care =D

-AJ

Catching Up and... I WANNA GRADUATE!

It has been 3 months and one day ever since I started studying architecture. I love architecture, it is my passion and that's the main reason I went into such a demanding field and it keeps me going. It's everything I hold onto at my moments of doubt. I realized my passion for architecture a bit late and there's a very interesting story behind it... remind me to tell you it later.

It is no exaggeration when architecture is referred to as archiTorture, It requires a lot of effort and work and very little sleep and if you don't love it (i.e. you're not a masochist) you cannot become an architect. So far I've been enjoying the type work I've been doing but not the load, but the load is something I'm getting used to. It's all working great except for technical drawing. Technical drawing, I find , is somewhat pointless at this "era", I'm a computer junkie and naturally I would prefer to go to CAD directly instead of nerve-wreaking moments of inking, but they say it has it's benefits, I'm very hesitant about this but I'm ready to believe it (to some point). The technical drawing course is very intensive and covers everything in 4 months (other programs take the same quantity of work in about 8 months). However, I was told that technical doesn't decide if I'm capable of becoming an architect, and it's by no means initiation. On the other hand I've been having trouble with getting grades lower than I had expected, but grades are nothing. They really aren't at this point, because this is just basic foundation and is by no means architecture. Enough with the past but before moving on, I wanna conclude with this: If I had to summ up the last 3 months in one sentence it is this: These days they feel like months, months that flash by within seconds"

As for today, the though that always seemed to haunt me was... I WANNA GRADUATE!!! but nothing comes that easily. As for the daily work... I have a technical drawing assignment (one point perspective) due tomorrow, which I already finished, but it took me lots of time mainly because it is the first time I draw perspective and I was confused by shape made of 2 boxes merged together underneath a windowsill (not as simple as it seems). GLAD that's over with! Moving on with the work I also have a lot on my mind, I have finals next month and I should probably start studying but today bears a lot of shit to think about tomorrow, I have a technical drawing assignment which will be due on Monday, and it's supposed to keep me up all night, and the most abstract puppet to design and an essay to write.... Oh and my life with all it's ups and downs (YES you get to keep your life and be an architecture student... although it is highly recommended that you abandon it) But be sure of one thing, the work can't keep me busy enough so as not to worry about a 9-hour technical drawing exam on the 29th of January which will decide if I pass or flunk the course. But it should work out.. it always does (optimism =D)

But here are 4 positive thoughts that keep me going:
A- Im gonna get to sleep tonight =D
B- I'm making some good friends with my fellow architects :P
C- After finals I get about 20 days of work-free vacation (term break and other stuff)
D- This is real, I'm where I wanna be, every second that passes is a step closer to becoming an Architect.


That's pretty much all for today, Im pretty exhausted so I better get to sleep, I have classes tomorrow.. nighty night


P.S. mind the quality of the punctuation and the structure of this post... I had to do this very quickly :)

-AJ